I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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