I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize