someone owes me an orgasm
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Of course I have a pirate flag
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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