woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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