windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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