so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
