Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
