i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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