i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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