he wants to bone in the snuggie
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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