my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
