did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
