census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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