Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
