I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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