it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
