can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
this hospital has no fireball
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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