pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
