i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
