whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
