Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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