o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize