Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My ass is underappreciated
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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