her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
