Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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