i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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