I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
