You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i dont even know how to be here
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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