Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
this boner is exhausting
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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