All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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