They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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