It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
