It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
