Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
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We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
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You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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