im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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