I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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