he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize