Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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