Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
