Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
