Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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