I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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