All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
