Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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