He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
