it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
