Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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