This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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