Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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