Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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