I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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