After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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