You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
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She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
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After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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