i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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