what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
