Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
