in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
