i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
