Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
