i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My balls are so social today.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
