you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
