Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
