I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
