i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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