I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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