I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
