Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I look better un-naked...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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